Kimjentonkkapkandob is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, resourceful frog.

Kimjentonkkapkandob created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimjentonkkapkandob, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Kimjentonkkapkandob, he will send you a sign.

Kimjentonkkapkandob's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Kimjentonkkapkandob's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snakes.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kimjentonkkapkandob.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never think about black holes.