Fitnabflap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, emotional frog.

Fitnabflap created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitnabflap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fitnabflap, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Fitnabflap's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Fitnabflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.