Jinzebbig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, boastful spider.

Jinzebbig created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinzebbig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jinzebbig, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Jinzebbig's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Jinzebbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not kill tapirs.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.