Nutguttarfitgessxen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced naga.

Nutguttarfitgessxen created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutguttarfitgessxen, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nutguttarfitgessxen, she will torture you forever.

Nutguttarfitgessxen's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Nutguttarfitgessxen's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven foxes approach from the east.

2. Do not eat limes.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Worship no other gods but Nutguttarfitgessxen.

5. Never eat pineapples.