Weggarkem is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, selfish rat.

Weggarkem created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Weggarkem, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Weggarkem, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Weggarkem's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Weggarkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to eagles while wearing mauve jumpers.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Weggarkem.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never look in ponds.