Tonktifflap is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awe-inspiring crocodile.

Tonktifflap created the Andromeda Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonktifflap, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonktifflap, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tonktifflap's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Tonktifflap's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tonktifflap.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.