Hakvigfod is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witless hedgehog.

Hakvigfod created dark energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakvigfod, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hakvigfod, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Hakvigfod's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Hakvigfod's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hakvigfod.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Worship no other gods but Hakvigfod.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not kill rats.