Dogominbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, weak bee.

Dogominbarn created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogominbarn, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dogominbarn, he will turn you into a snail.

Dogominbarn's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Dogominbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Worship no other gods but Dogominbarn.

3. Dogominbarn loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.