Witdumtonk Poddumfag Vagkikcut is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, moody monkey.

Witdumtonk Poddumfag Vagkikcut created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witdumtonk Poddumfag Vagkikcut, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Witdumtonk Poddumfag Vagkikcut, she will be very unhappy.

Witdumtonk Poddumfag Vagkikcut's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Witdumtonk Poddumfag Vagkikcut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Witdumtonk Poddumfag Vagkikcut loves bats, so they must be honoured.

3. Never eat lemons.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not laugh in public.