Yarpnurtkim is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, amazing dolphin.

Yarpnurtkim created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpnurtkim, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yarpnurtkim, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Yarpnurtkim's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Yarpnurtkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Yarpnurtkim must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Yarpnurtkim loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

5. Always stare at clouds.