Minaf Shavtettitailwat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, self-confident toad.

Minaf Shavtettitailwat created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Minaf Shavtettitailwat, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Minaf Shavtettitailwat, she will turn you into a frog.

Minaf Shavtettitailwat's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Minaf Shavtettitailwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never wear green boots.

3. Always help rats.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Minaf Shavtettitailwat.