Cusslapwik Wodpomdib is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, passionate clam.

Cusslapwik Wodpomdib created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusslapwik Wodpomdib, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cusslapwik Wodpomdib, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Cusslapwik Wodpomdib's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Cusslapwik Wodpomdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to badgers while wearing purple scarves.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Hide if six hamsters approach from the south.