Flisflabtailwan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witty snail.

Flisflabtailwan created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flisflabtailwan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flisflabtailwan, he will strike you with lightening.

Flisflabtailwan's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Flisflabtailwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. You must love Flisflabtailwan.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.