Rilstiknurt is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, selfish horse.

Rilstiknurt created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilstiknurt, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Rilstiknurt, he will destroy your home planet.

Rilstiknurt's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Rilstiknurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair purple.

2. Always help doves.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.