Metvilyok is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthoughtful wren.

Metvilyok created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metvilyok, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Metvilyok, it will come to you in dreams.

Metvilyok's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Metvilyok's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from white manatees for they are unholy.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Run away from blue great tits, for they are unholy.

5. Never look at moons.