Fumyamcud is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced coyote.

Fumyamcud created the planet Jupiter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fumyamcud, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fumyamcud, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Fumyamcud's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Fumyamcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve ear rings.

2. Always look after injured rats.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

5. Never sit in the presence of snails.