Yogvagmap is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sapient gnu.

Yogvagmap created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogvagmap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Yogvagmap, she will be very unhappy.

Yogvagmap's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Yogvagmap's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine shrews approach from the west.

2. Sharks are not to be trusted.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Never sit near tortoises.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.