Quafguddin is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, passionate zebra.

Quafguddin created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafguddin, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quafguddin, it will turn you into a mole.

Quafguddin's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Quafguddin's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quafguddin.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never laugh near geese.

4. Quafguddin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.