Nart is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, almighty camel.

Nart created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nart, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nart, she will remove you from existence.

Nart's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Nart's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry monkeys.

2. Never wear stockings.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nart.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Hide if three badgers approach from the east.