Komquagcat is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, fussy mongoose.

Komquagcat created carbon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Komquagcat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Komquagcat, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Komquagcat's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Komquagcat's Holy Commandments

1. Snakes are not to be trusted.

2. Never mention manatees.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.