Bestbiftetti is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, tiresome jaguar.

Bestbiftetti created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestbiftetti, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bestbiftetti, she will turn you into a frog.

Bestbiftetti's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bestbiftetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about strawberries.

2. Never sing near turtles.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not listen to music.