Citwitkan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, impressive wombat.

Citwitkan created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citwitkan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Citwitkan, he will turn you into a mouse.

Citwitkan's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Citwitkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Pray towards the north.