Hadparklin Gepflamquartmif is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, weak unicorn.

Hadparklin Gepflamquartmif created the Sunflower Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadparklin Gepflamquartmif, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hadparklin Gepflamquartmif, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hadparklin Gepflamquartmif's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Hadparklin Gepflamquartmif's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven iron sculptures of Hadparklin Gepflamquartmif on top of important buildings.

2. Never hurt birds.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Always help sick turtles.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.