Wanmidxem is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciful bear.

Wanmidxem created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wanmidxem, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wanmidxem, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wanmidxem's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Wanmidxem's Holy Commandments

1. Put Wanmidxem first in all things.

2. Never talk about foxes.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Always pray immersed in water.