Vonfat is a god.

He takes the form of a large, dishonourable manatee.

Vonfat created silver four million years ago.

If you believe in Vonfat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonfat, he will turn you into a mouse.

Vonfat's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Vonfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Worship no other gods but Vonfat.

5. Never look at galaxies.