Paslakpag is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, overgenerous crow.

Paslakpag created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Paslakpag, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Paslakpag, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Paslakpag's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Paslakpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tapirs.

2. Never wear red scarves.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.