Betcumbif Gunbugmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unthinking fish.

Betcumbif Gunbugmeg created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betcumbif Gunbugmeg, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Betcumbif Gunbugmeg, he will jump up and down on your head.

Betcumbif Gunbugmeg's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Betcumbif Gunbugmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Betcumbif Gunbugmeg.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.