Somarphog is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, sapient jaguar.

Somarphog created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Somarphog, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Somarphog, it will try to impress you with trees.

Somarphog's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Somarphog's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Run away if four gulls approach from the east.

3. You must never eat onions.

4. Never sing in the presence of capybaras.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.