Stignartman is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, thoughtless troll.

Stignartman created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stignartman, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Stignartman, he will turn you into a rock.

Stignartman's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Stignartman's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Always obey Stignartman's priests.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never feed garlic to tortoises while wearing blue shirts.

5. Never mention geese.