Somnakhot is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome newt.

Somnakhot created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Somnakhot, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Somnakhot, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Somnakhot's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Somnakhot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.