Larpmetfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, pitiless tapir.

Larpmetfarn created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Larpmetfarn, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Larpmetfarn, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Larpmetfarn's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Larpmetfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Larpmetfarn loves ducks, so they must be respected.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Do not laugh in public.