Volnigdonniglooplak is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, omnipotent turtle.

Volnigdonniglooplak created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volnigdonniglooplak, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Volnigdonniglooplak, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Volnigdonniglooplak's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Volnigdonniglooplak's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Feed all hungry snakes.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Do not kill geese.

5. Never run in the presence of sheep.