Latgomceb Fobsafcab Jenbabgun is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, temperamental mole.

Latgomceb Fobsafcab Jenbabgun created humanity two years ago.

If you believe in Latgomceb Fobsafcab Jenbabgun, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Latgomceb Fobsafcab Jenbabgun, he will destroy your home solar system.

Latgomceb Fobsafcab Jenbabgun's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Latgomceb Fobsafcab Jenbabgun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Never mention monkeys.

3. Never run near whales.

4. Never talk about swans.

5. Never think about moons.