Kamdibquim is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciful jackal.

Kamdibquim created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kamdibquim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Kamdibquim, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Kamdibquim's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Kamdibquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured voles.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Hide from fawn rats for they are unholy.