Nibxuckmabnadbassran is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, slow mink.

Nibxuckmabnadbassran created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nibxuckmabnadbassran, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Nibxuckmabnadbassran, he will manifest in front of you.

Nibxuckmabnadbassran's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Nibxuckmabnadbassran's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray nematodes for they are unholy.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.