Legyakmin Rotgankem is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unthinking dog.

Legyakmin Rotgankem created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legyakmin Rotgankem, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Legyakmin Rotgankem, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Legyakmin Rotgankem's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Legyakmin Rotgankem's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Worship no other gods but Legyakmin Rotgankem.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat bark.