Cimzim is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, clever hydra.

Cimzim created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimzim, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cimzim, he will jump up and down on your head.

Cimzim's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Cimzim's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cimzim.

2. Hide from black manatees for they are unholy.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Never eat wheat.

5. Never hurt sheep.