Lunquartdan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish fairy.

Lunquartdan created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunquartdan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lunquartdan, she will jump up and down on your head.

Lunquartdan's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Lunquartdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about monkeys.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Put Lunquartdan first in all things.

4. Never think ill of sick foxes.

5. Do not drink alcohol.