Femquaflid is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, charitable bird.

Femquaflid created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Femquaflid, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Femquaflid, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Femquaflid's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Femquaflid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four nickel sculptures of Femquaflid on top of important buildings.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Femquaflid.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.