Jopcedzuss is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent beaver.

Jopcedzuss created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopcedzuss, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jopcedzuss, he will turn you into a mouse.

Jopcedzuss' most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Jopcedzuss' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Jopcedzuss.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Never eat coconuts.

5. Do not speak about oranges.