Wodfossgem Armbetraw is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, self-assured bat.

Wodfossgem Armbetraw created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodfossgem Armbetraw, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wodfossgem Armbetraw, it will turn you into a goat.

Wodfossgem Armbetraw's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Wodfossgem Armbetraw's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Wodfossgem Armbetraw on top of all buildings.

5. Do not chop down trees.