Flanfodarf is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless ferret.

Flanfodarf created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanfodarf, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flanfodarf, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Flanfodarf's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Flanfodarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt monkeys.

2. Never wear violet stockings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.