Xinxemquill Bitstigbarngamweg is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, intelligent dog.

Xinxemquill Bitstigbarngamweg created the Cigar Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinxemquill Bitstigbarngamweg, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Xinxemquill Bitstigbarngamweg, she will curse you with boils.

Xinxemquill Bitstigbarngamweg's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Xinxemquill Bitstigbarngamweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always pray immersed in water.