Hubnurlquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, ill-tempered gerbil.

Hubnurlquaf created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubnurlquaf, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hubnurlquaf, she will turn you into a worm.

Hubnurlquaf's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hubnurlquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near gulls.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hubnurlquaf.