Afstikkop is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, idiotic dog.

Afstikkop created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Afstikkop, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Afstikkop, he will turn you into a slug.

Afstikkop's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Afstikkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Afstikkop's name in vain.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Hide from brown monkeys for they are unholy.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Put Afstikkop first in all things.