Labsugwottarg is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless camel.

Labsugwottarg created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labsugwottarg, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Labsugwottarg, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Labsugwottarg's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Labsugwottarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Hide if four aardvarks approach from the south.

3. Never talk about capybaras.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never wear brown shoes.