Larptarpwat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, idiotic penguin.

Larptarpwat created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larptarpwat, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Larptarpwat, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Larptarpwat's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Larptarpwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

5. Always wear turquoise.