Queegqueeggen is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, flying cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Queegqueeggen created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegqueeggen, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Queegqueeggen, it will think nothing of it.

Queegqueeggen's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Queegqueeggen's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never write about moons.