Gepcanvol Funlabnil is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, wise crab.

Gepcanvol Funlabnil created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Gepcanvol Funlabnil, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gepcanvol Funlabnil, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gepcanvol Funlabnil's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gepcanvol Funlabnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gepcanvol Funlabnil.

3. Hide if six great tits approach from the west.

4. Run away if four rats approach from the east.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.