Futquaffeb Maningzod is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, bad-tempered cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Futquaffeb Maningzod created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futquaffeb Maningzod, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Futquaffeb Maningzod, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Futquaffeb Maningzod's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Futquaffeb Maningzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not take Futquaffeb Maningzod's name in vain.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never sit near shrews.